August 12, 2005

lol

Some funnies posted on extreme-games.net forum:

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer:May i see your driver's license?
Driver:I don't have one.I had it suspended when i got my 5th DUI.

Officer:May i see the registration for this vehicle?
Driver:It's not my car.I stole it.

Officer:This car is stolen?
Driver:That's right.But come to think of it i saw the registration in the glove box when i was putting my gun in there.

Officer:There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver:Yes sir.That's where i put it after i shot and killed who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer:There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!
Driver:Yes,sir

Hearing this,the officer immediately called his captain.
The car was quickly surrounded by police and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain:Sir,can i see your license?
Driver:Sure.Here it is.

The license was valid

Captain:Who's car is this?
Driver:It's mine,sir.Here's is the registration.

The driver owned the car

Captain:Could you slowly open your glove box so i can see if there is a gun in it?
Driver:Yes,sir,but there is no gun in it.

Sure enough,there wasa nothing in the glove box

Captain:Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver:No problem

Trunk is opened; no body

Captain:I don't understand it.The officer who stopped you said you told him that you didn't have a license,stole the car,had a gun in the glove box and there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver:Yeah,I'll bet the lying sumbitch told you i was speeding too

Forbidden words during surgery

1. Oh well
2. you should have told me before i sew the cut
3. so, what surgery was this?
4. DoctorA> would you give me $10 if i made this with eye mask?
DoctorB> wwwffoo really? try it, i'll give you $15 for it
5. pass me staples
6. Oops!
7. who cares, just cut it!
8. *after surgery* i can't find the last scalpel mes
9. Doctor> Mr. Simpson we're going to anesthetize you now, count down to 0 from 10 please.
Patient> What? I'm Denberg... z.z..zZ...
10. WhaaAAAAT!!!? you want me to do it!!!?
11. doctor? have you washed your hands?
12. Wait, if that's the kidney, what's this?
13. you should keep that, we need it for autopsy
14. shit, hey heyhey, did anyone survive with 500ml of this?
15. damn, power down again?
16. everyone dont' move, i dropped my contact
17. damn, i should have brought my glasses today
18. help me pick up that organ off the ground.
19. you freak!? stop playing with that heart and bring it over
20. everybody, today will be a brand new experience for all of us, try stay awake.

Posted by sleong at August 12, 2005 08:00 PM
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