Living just with my brother is somewhat scary! By no means is he a danger to live with, infact he's far from life-threatening. Its scary to me because i see it as a precurser to what life would be like living 24-7 with a partner (who values have different weighting). My brother is normal. He places himself first - a trait i do not dislike. This is reflected by the way he carries himself and the actions he does within our home.
The way that i am condition, i will always try to put myself in other peoples position, and similarly; i try to put people in my situation. From this stems my values of consideration for others. This is the main difference between my bro and i.
My interpretation of his actions is as follows: If he gains nothing from an action, why bother doing it? - even if its family. The first few encounters i have had since my parents have left, i must admit i began by firing up. But why do i care so much? Consequently it doesnt really affect me, who am i to boss him around and say that my weighting on values is best or even correct?
Which leads me to the conclusion that i am not satisfied with my life. I do not place myself first, or at least, i don't place myself first enough. A quick analysis why i don't do so:
~To distract myself from daily issues one encounters.
~To feel as sense of belonging.
~To satisfy my nature to help others.
~To treat people the way i want to be treated by others.
As a consequence of putting others before me, it has clearly affected me negatively on my academic progress. Don't get me wrong, im not going all depressed and downcast on myself :) it just that its been on my chest for the past few hours.
Posted by sleong at May 5, 2005 01:37 AM